Tomorrow marks 18 years of marriage for my husband and
I. Five children later and countless
hours of discussions on child rearing we still have conflict. Just this morning we ran right in to a conflict
on the amount of minutes our 9 year old son needed to read today. One might think that conflicts about such
simple things should not have merit, but once again we recognized how important
the conflict management and resolutions were rather than the conflict
itself. I won’t share all of the
details, as to why a conflict arose, but rather how and why we chose the
conflict resolution measures that we did.
As we reached the point of conflict we both stopped took a moment to
gather our thoughts and said, “you first”.
We have learned that talking at the same time doesn’t build good
listening skills. In this case I went
first. I shared my side, my opinion and
my thought. After, I respected his time
to share by staying quiet until the very end.
We have also learned not to interrupt each other in order to show
respect. After we were both finished we reflected
on what the other said and repeated it to make sure we understood each
other. Compromise was our choice of
resolution. We agreed to meet in the
middle and recognized that both of us had good and valid points to make. We both felt satisfied and heard. We try to approach conflict in this manner,
however there are those time that all of the right steps don’t seem to work.
It looks like you and your husband have a very respectful, loving relationship. It is good to see a couple in today's society work together to solve a conflict rather than yelling and insisting that their way is the best.
ReplyDeleteHi Heather,
ReplyDeleteCompromise is an incredible choice of conflict resolution. One needs to learn the importance of compromising with one another in order to successfully accomplish anything. It seems that you are your husband have a successful resolution system working. It is great that you found a method to resolving conflict because in any relationship conflict arises. It is the outcome of the conflict that matters the most.
Kaitlyn
Hi Heather,
ReplyDeleteI can tell that you are precise with your conflict management with your husband and probably anyoe esle. That seems to make you and your husband's relationship all the more better, understanding, and respectful.
Thank you for sharing. It sounds to me like after much practice you and your husband have figured out how to resolve conflict in a positive way. Turn taking is a great way to resolve conflict. Everyone gets a turn to be heard and everyone feels respected. I can relate to daily conflict. I have been married 21 years and we too have 5 children. You would think we would be professionals by now!
ReplyDeleteJosie
Or times when we just blow by all the right steps, and fester in unproductive conflict resolution. My husband and I usually walk away feeling like the conflict is unresolved, then return to the conversation at a later time. That helps to eliminate the emotional response. Another tactic we use so we do not get caught up in tone of voice or inaccurate perceptions, we text our perspectives to each other after a conflict arises. This is extremely effective for us and we are able to hear what the other needs.
ReplyDeleteAshleigh
DeleteWe too sometimes use written responses. It helps to keep things factual.
Thanks for sharing
Great information!!! Thanks for your wonderful informative blog.
ReplyDeleteVillage Talkies a top-quality professional corporate video production company in Bangalore and also best explainer video company in Bangalore & animation video makers in Bangalore, Chennai, India & Maryland, Baltimore, USA provides Corporate & Brand films, Promotional, Marketing videos & Training videos, Product demo videos, Employee videos, Product video explainers, eLearning videos, 2d Animation, 3d Animation, Motion Graphics, Whiteboard Explainer videos Client Testimonial Videos, Video Presentation and more for all start-ups, industries, and corporate companies. From scripting to corporate video production services, explainer & 3d, 2d animation video production , our solutions are customized to your budget, timeline, and to meet the company goals and objectives.
As a best video production company in Bangalore, we produce quality and creative videos to our clients.