Thank You

As we say goodbye I want to thank all of you for great conversation and challenging posts.  As I end each class I always walk away feeling encouraged by your work and commitment to the field.  You are all doing great work and have added to my knowledge.  Good Luck!!

Good-byes

I believe the hardest groups to leave are the ones that have built the largest sense of community.  I recognize that a mission can continue without me, however the relationships I create along the way are the hardest to leave behind.

The hardest group that I ever had to leave was a missions group.  We lived as part of a Missions Organization in Monterrey, MX.  My family along with 12 other missionary families served a common goal, a common people and built a community.  The relationships I made along the way have transformed my life.  Our common vision and investment took our relationships to greater depths.  We understood each other in a way that others on the outside could not.  Due to an illness our adjournment occurred faster than I would have liked, but we did have an opportunity to have a "closing night".  This time offered prayer, remembrance and encouragement to our family.  The journey continues for this mission organization, but my time has come to a close.  I read several books that helped me transition out of that community and back in to a more compartmentalized world, but truth be told, some of the grief and sadness accompanying our departure was necessary.  It was part of the journey.

My time at Walden, thus far, has offered me a new group of colleagues, people with a common goal and a shared passion.  There is such comfort in sharing life together.  Having to say good bye will have its moment of sadness, but quickly will come the excitement of the new journey.  Knowing that each person will set out on their journey to accomplish great things brings me joy.  Adjournment is essential in order to take your next step.  Leaving one thing always opens up new opportunity.  Great possibility awaits each of us, as long as we don't hold on to what is meant to end.

Conflict Resolution

Tomorrow marks 18 years of marriage for my husband and I.  Five children later and countless hours of discussions on child rearing we still have conflict.  Just this morning we ran right in to a conflict on the amount of minutes our 9 year old son needed to read today.  One might think that conflicts about such simple things should not have merit, but once again we recognized how important the conflict management and resolutions were rather than the conflict itself.  I won’t share all of the details, as to why a conflict arose, but rather how and why we chose the conflict resolution measures that we did.  As we reached the point of conflict we both stopped took a moment to gather our thoughts and said, “you first”.  We have learned that talking at the same time doesn’t build good listening skills.  In this case I went first.  I shared my side, my opinion and my thought.  After, I respected his time to share by staying quiet until the very end.  We have also learned not to interrupt each other in order to show respect.  After we were both finished we reflected on what the other said and repeated it to make sure we understood each other.  Compromise was our choice of resolution.  We agreed to meet in the middle and recognized that both of us had good and valid points to make.  We both felt satisfied and heard.  We try to approach conflict in this manner, however there are those time that all of the right steps don’t seem to work.

Communication Style

My test revealed that, according to me, I have low anxiety when talking with others and little to no anxiety anticipating those encounters.  I chose my husband and a colleague to evaluate me as well.  Each result showed that they both believe me to be in the Low category, also.  I have always loved to talk with others, whether a stranger or long time friend.  I enjoy large groups of people but also thrive for a good one on one conversation.  Public speaking is especially exciting to me, as long as I am educated and passionate about the topic.

I found myself to be moderately verbally aggressive, as well did my husband.  I work hard to always remain respectful, but am not afraid of a hearty debate.  I don't avoid conflict, but truly believe there are healthy manners in which to engage in it.  My husband seems to be well aware of who I am, however my co worker found me to be in the Low range.  I am uncertain if it is because she sees me in a more gentler fashion, or if she wanted to be more gentle herself in evaluation.  I rarely get mad, but rather I engage in passionate conversations.

I was placed in Group 1, a people oriented style of listening, after all 3 evaluations.  I am very people focused and enjoy listening to others, as well as encouraging them.  However, I disagree that I am too trusting of others.  I allow others to be who they are, but I have a keen ability to see through many veils.

I am quite surprised that all of the results turned out to be so similar.  I believe it is because I try to be myself in all circumstances.  It is rare that someone finds me to be complicated.

Communicating Differently

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?
• If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

I work hard to be myself in all situations, all the while being culturally sensitive.  I believe it's important to be who God made me to be, but to always consider other's feelings.  Having lived internationally and being bilingual helps me to remember other's cultures.  I work to discover a person's likes and dislikes as well as their personal culture by asking questions about their life rather than talking about myself.  This week's readings on the Platinum Rule reminds me to consider to treat others with the respect that THEY want.

Chicago FIre

I have never watched the drama series, Chicago Fire.  I watched the first 20 minutes without sound. It was filled with emotional events, that appeared to create both sadness, fear and anger in the characters.  They displayed tears, posture of hopelessness, angered eyes and aggressive body language.  The characters seem to have strong relationships, because there is so much emotion wrapped up in their communication.
When re-watching the first 20 minutes I found that I was correct in my assumptions.  That the characters had pre existing relationships that caused sadness and anger when faced with tragedy.  They were protective of one another and were angered on the others behalf. 
My assumptions wouldn't have been much more correct had I been familiar with the show.  It certainly proves that nonverbal cues are significant and highly impactful.

Competent Communication

When I think about a person, in my life, that is an example of a competent communicator, I think of one of my dear colleagues. My colleague works for the State of Michigan, she works to educate parents on how to be an advocate for their child(s).  Holly, my colleague, first and foremost speaks genuinely and from the heart.  As a mother herself she draws of personal experiences to make connections with families/parents.  She doesn't try to represent herself as the perfect educator or parent.  She trains from perspective that we are all on a journey and learning as we go.  Families so easily become comfortable with her.  I have been graced with spending many hours, days and weeks with Holly gaining countless ideas on how to improve my own communication skills.  Holly creates conversations that encourages parents to be empowered.  She is a good listener, which is vital, to shared communication.  Most importantly, she cares about others and it shows in her communication style.